Is it a mobile phone from the 1980s? Or is it an MP3 player? Well, as the name suggests, the USB Retro Mobile MP3 Player from Brando is the latter, but shaped like the former.
Yes, shaped like a 'brick' phone, it actually plays your MP3/WMA files, holds a microSD card for storage and hooks up to your PC via USB. There's even an FM radio and rechargeable battery to finish things off.
What do all those buttons do? No idea, but you can have fun finding out. The price is $23 from Brando directly, which is a paltry £14.66.